Friday, July 24, 2009

Inflation

I have a friend that likes to exaggerate stories of his tale as well as make stories up, sometimes I find myself apart of these make believe stories.. and I just go along with it because I've stopped caring or I try to add something in to catch him off guard. Anyways, every time he goes out of town he apparently gets pussy by the masses. Once he leaves the tri-state (OH,KY,IN) area he becomes the greatest pimp ever to walk the earth, in fact I think he must play "Name that Pussy" with his fellow pimps. Yes, he holds the high score as well. My friend reminds me of Farva only unable to grow the facial hair. What's Farva without his mustache? Probably someone that inflates the amount of pussy they get.

Example 1: Farva claims to have been getting road head from one of his ex girlfriends during this time he hits a deer with his car (not going fast because apparently he was able to break in time?).. regardless he hits a deer and there is no damage to the vehicle and she doesn't bite his cock off and she finishes the b.j.

You decide...

Example 2: Farva goes to Florida and apparently gets a call from his cousins to meet up with him because they have 3 girls, 2 of which are twins. Farva apparently gets drunk with them and has sexual intercourse with one of the twins. Although the story was originally they were already drunk at the time.

I'm wondering if it was the twins from the Coors Light commercials they used to have? The girls ages were 25, 21 and 21... how fitting for Farva being that he is 21. his cousins are like in their 30's, yet they all managed to get laid?

Example 3: Farva claims to have been laid in Arizona when he went out in the summer for like a week (he wasn't even 21 at the time and had an awful fake I.D.). I guess the guy he was with happened to know everyone though?

Example 4: Recently he fingered and ate out a girl who is like fucking 18. She was Landfills' girlfriends' friend... he claimed to have "fucked the shit out of her", yet when the report from Landfill came in that wasn't the case at all, in fact he ate and got nothing... weak.

I'm not trying to say I'm some sort of player myself, but I don't sit here and make up what I did last night. In fact I'm going to tell my own Farva story, only starting it truthfully.

Last night I managed to get a number "jessica f".. I called it as I left the bar at 2:12a.m. there was naturally no answer. STOP resume from this point on a Farva story... GO: So she called my back right? I'm home by now so I get in my car drunk as fuck and I pick her up and she's giving me road head and I'm just running people over like Donte Stallworth. So then I notice I'm getting pulled over, but she isn't done, but she's still going and the cop lets her finish. Turns out the cop is my cousin and we go back to his place and these twins show up and I end up having a threesome with one of the twins and jessica f.

That is the best way I can describe a Farva story to you. The stories apply to other things other than pussy though. If we are around a bunch of people he makes up stories (sometimes I find myself in the made up stories), but I just don't care. He is always some sort of hero or something fucking rediculous.. no matter what he benefits from the fake story. Every time I try to call him out on it he has brilliant saves like "you weren't there for that part" or something stupid and these people really believe him.. it's fucking irritating if you could imagine. I have a new way to combat it however, adding to the story. I try to catch him off guard by adding fucked up twists. It's gotten out of hand though now I am going to start being extra fucked up... like "yeah and then you found that used tampon in your wallet". Only time will tell my friends, hopefully he learns.

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